Big Fat Negative

Pregnancy Test, Big Fat Negative, Follicle Stimulation, Infertility, IVF, Secondary Infertility, in vitro fertilization

So I’ve gotten many Big Fat Negatives (BFN) in my attempt at becoming pregnant. Sixteen in fact since we’ve been counting. And each time I see that BFN, I feel as though my future shrinks a little bit. Like each time the results are negative, my hope for a second baby becomes more fragile and uncertain. One more opportunity to become pregnant is promptly flushed down the toilet, and my family struggles emotionally and financially to try again. I am left to manage my own expectations and struggle with wanting to be confident yet knowing that the odds are not in my favor. My heart keeps breaking, yet we keep trying. And at some point, we’ll have to stop. Our savings can only be stretched so thin and the emotional strain will only be tolerated for so long. But we’re not done yet. So we keep struggling, and we keep working at having one more baby.


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