So my world has been rocked by this miscarriage. Not only are we having to deal with the emotions of losing a baby, I’m also struggling with my beliefs about pregnancy in general. No longer am I naïve about the certainty of carrying a baby to term or the unbridled joy associated with a pregnancy. Now, I am downright petrified of getting pregnant again. What if we get pregnant and have to go through a miscarriage again? How will I handle the upheaval to our lives twice? Pregnancy has become a land mine, where you get a beautiful, healthy baby or you get remorse. And for me, any future pregnancy will be a hellish roller coaster ride full of stress and anxiety while I outwardly pretend to be happy. I am not sure if that is something I can do or even want to do. At this point in our lives, so soon after our loss, I am having serious doubts about pursuing one more baby.
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