I am struggling with anxiety. Everyday I wake up hoping that the pregnancy won’t end, and then I obsess over every little thing that could go wrong. The embryo could stop growing, our next ultrasound may not show a heartbeat, I could accidentally eat feta cheese and get listeria, or maybe I’m stressing my self out so much that I cause a miscarriage . . . the list is endless. My mind churns these thoughts over and over until I can physically feel the panic emanating from my solar plexus. As a result I often feel as though I’m not getting enough oxygen and need to take deep breaths. I am in a constant state of alarm, and it’s wearing me out. I’ve tried a few breathing exercises that seem to help temporarily, but the anxiety always returns. I definitely recognize that my anxiety is warranted, given the fact that I just lost a baby 4 months ago, but I wish it would magically go away. If the anxiety doesn’t slow down after our next ultrasound, I may actually seek counseling. I can’t go through this entire pregnancy (please let me make it through the entire pregnancy!) feeling so helpless.
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