I think many women who have suffered from infertility would describe pregnancy as a long awaited oasis. It’s a dream come true achievement that is filled with thoughts about baby names, nursery decorations, and expanding belly lines. But that’s not what it’s all about. Being pregnant is also about itchy armpits and drooling so horrible that you wake up in the middle of the night wondering how you managed to spill water on yourself . . . and then realize that all of that “water” is coming from your mouth. And sadly, this really did happen to me as I woke up in the middle of the night confused by all of the drool that was smeared in my face, pillow, and hair. According to the internet, night time drooling is due to hormones fluxes and all of your joints going loosey goosey on you preparing for labor – and I believe it. I’m a teeth grinder at night, and I have dutifully worn my night guard for 10+ years. But I swear to you that I don’t need it while I’m pregnant. As soon as I drift off to sleepy land, my mouth pops open and the drool just flows right on out of me. I wake up drenched in my own spit, and it’s gross. I’ve had to resort to sleeping with a towel over my pillow so that I don’t have to constantly change out my pillowcase each night . . .

And if the drooling wasn’t bad enough, I’ve also encountered an awesome obstacle called itchy armpits. New to me this pregnancy, my itchy armpits are annoying. It usually starts around night time and my armpits will itch (like right in the middle of the armpit) for a few minutes and then just stop. After doing some searching on the internet I also found out that the itchiness can be caused by hormone fluxes and growths called skin tags (this is just getting better and better!) that can be removed after the baby is delivered. I just hope I’m not the only pregnant lady out there with these problems. Right? Hello? Anyone?

*crickets*